Forgiveness and reconciliation will never come if we seek to shove the pain, affliction, and suffering back upon the offender who has cast it. Forgiveness comes as we take the hit, bearing the pain itself versus giving back what the offender may rightfully deserve themselves. So how will you forgive others in your life? Not through flippantly "forgetting" or through taking up boxing. Forgiveness will only come to you as it was given to you- the paradigm of the cross and the power of the Spirit.
“…forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)